Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Apa Itu Dadah
Diambil dari:
YouTube: Upload oleh:slipzeries181
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBSQ7buxEns&feature=related
KESAN DADAH KEPADA KELUARGA & KESIHATAN
Diambil dari:
YouTUbe : ijamidayu2006
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDC2PYBzEMk&feature=related
MyHEALTH : Rokok - Kesan Karbon Monoksida
Diambil dari:
YouTube- di upload oleh MyHEALTHKKM- http://www.myhealth.gov.my
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_AFrYaUG7c&feature=relmfu
MyHEALTH : Kesan Alkohol Kepada Mental dan Fizikal Manusia
Di ambil dari :
YouTUBE- MyHEALTHKKM - http://www.myhealth.gov.my
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dehUG4c2NEM&feature=relmfu
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Part II - Types of Child Abuse
What is emotional child abuse?
Emotional child abuse is any attitude, behavior, or failure to act that interferes with a child's mental health or social development. It can range from a simple verbal insult to an extreme form of punishment. Emotional abuse is almost always present when another form of abuse is found. Surprisingly, emotional abuse can have more long-lasting negative psychiatric effects than either physical abuse or sexual abuse.
Other names for emotional abuse are:
- Verbal abuse
- Mental abuse
- Psychological maltreatment or psychological abuse
Emotional child abuse can come from adults or from other children:
- Parents or caregivers
- Teachers or athletic coaches
- Siblings
- Bullies at school or elsewhere
- Middle- and high-school girls in social cliques
What is child neglect?
Neglect is a very common type of child abuse. According to Child Welfare Information Gateway, more children suffer from neglect than from physical and sexual abuse combined. Yet victims are not often identified, primarily because neglect is a type of child abuse that is an act of omission - of not doing something.
Some overlap exists between the definitions of emotional abuse and emotional neglect. However, neglect is a pattern of failing to provide for a child's basic needs. A single act of neglect might not be considered child abuse, but repeated neglect is definitely child abuse. There are three basic types of neglect; physical neglect, educational neglect, and emotional neglect.
Physical Neglect | Failure to provide food, clothing appropriate for the weather, supervision, a home that is hygienic and safe, and/or medical care, as needed. |
Educational Neglect | Failure to enroll a school-age child in school or to provide necessary special education. This includes allowing excessive absences from school. |
Emotional Neglect | Failure to provide emotional support, love, and affection. This includes neglect of the child's emotional needs and failure to provide psychological care, as needed. |
Some signs of child neglect:
- Clothing unsuited to the weather.
- Being dirty or unbathed.
- Extreme hunger.
- Apparent lack of supervision.
For more detail on recognizing the warning signs and symptoms of the various types of child abuse, see Recognizing Child Abuse: What Parents Should Know.
Sources: Administration for Children and Families
National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information
National Institutes of Health -National Library of Medicine
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect
Taken from:
Types of Child Abuse - Part I
Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer
Learn about the major types of child abuse and what constitutes physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and neglect of a child.
The four major types of child abuse are:
- Physical abuse
- Sexual abuse
- Emotional / Psychological abuse
- Neglect
What is physical child abuse?
Physical child abuse is an injury resulting from physical aggression. Even if the injury was not intended, the act is considered physical abuse. The injury from physical child abuse may be the result of:
- Beating, slapping, or hitting.
- Pushing, shaking, kicking, or throwing.
- Pinching, biting, choking, or hair-pulling.
- Burning with cigarettes, scalding water, or other hot objects.
- Severe physical punishment.
Is physical punishment the same as physical abuse?
Physical abuse is an injury resulting from physical aggression. Physical punishment is the use of physical force with the intent of inflicting bodily pain, but not injury, for the purpose of correction or control. As you can see, physical punishment can easily get out of control and become physical abuse.
Some other specific types of physical child abuse are:
- Shaken Baby Syndrome - Shaking a baby or toddler can cause serious head injuries.
- Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome - Inducing medical illness in a child or wrongly convincing others that a child is sick is both dangerous and abusive.
- Drug use during pregnancy - Drug and alcohol use during pregnancy or lactation can be harmful to your child, leading to problems such as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Hundreds of thousands of children are physically abused each year by someone close to them, and thousands of children die from the injuries. For those who survive, the emotional scars are deeper than the physical scars.
Some signs of physical child abuse:
- Burns, bite marks, cuts, bruises, or welts in the shape of an object.
- Resistance to going home.
- Fear of adults.
What is child sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse of a child is any sexual act between an adult and a child, including penetration, intercourse, incest, rape, oral sex, and sodomy. Other examples include:
- Fondling - Touching or kissing a child's genitals, making a child fondle an adult's genitals.
- Violations of bodily privacy - Forcing a child to undress, spying on a child in the bathroom or bedroom.
- Exposing children to adult sexuality - Performing sexual acts in front of a child, exposing genitals, telling "dirty" stories, showing pornography to a child.
- Commercial exploitation - Sexual exploitation through child prostitution or child pornography.
Regardless of the child's behavior or reactions, it is the responsibility of the adult not to engage in sexual acts with children. Sexual abuse is never the child's fault. Sexual child abusers can be:
- Fathers, mothers, siblings, or other relatives.
- Childcare professionals or babysitters.
- Clergy, teachers, or athletic coaches.
- Foster parents or host families of foreign-exchange students.
- Neighbors or friends.
- Strangers
Some signs of sexual child abuse:
- Inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual acts.
- Seductiveness.
- Avoidance of things related to sexuality, or rejection of own genitals or body.
- Either overcompliance or excessive aggression.
- Fear of a particular person or family member.
Warning Signs of Online Sexual Child Abuse
- Your child spends large amounts of time online, especially at night.
- You find pornography on your child's computer.
- Your child receives phone calls from men you don't know, or is making calls, sometimes long distance, to numbers you don't recognize.
- Your child receives mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don't know.
- Your child turns the computer monitor off or quickly changes the screen on the monitor when you come into the room.
- Your child becomes withdrawn from the family.
- Your child is using an online account belonging to someone else.
http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/main/types-child-abuse/
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Schizophrenia
Today is the World Schizophrenia Day. When surfing through the net and youtube. This is the simplest explanation and clear explanation about what is going wrong lead to Schizophrenia. Although this video is short but it is good and easy to understand.
Taken from:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-DtmlXl8nw
SKIZOFRENIA (Schizophrenia)
Skizofrenia adalah salah satu penyakit otak dan mental yang serius. Perkataan skizofrenia atau schizophrenia
hanya kerap digunakan oleh para doktor. Perkataan ini agak asing bagi
orang ramai kerana ia jarang digunakan. Orang ramai biasanya menggunakan
perkataan seperti “orang gila” , “orang sakit mental” atau "psycho"
terhadap pesakit skizofrenia. Namun penggunaan perkataan “gila” dan
“sakit” ini adalah kadang-kadang disalah- ertikan kerana penyakit mental
sebenarnya ada bermacam jenis dan tidak semuanya adalah skizofrenia.
Apakah tanda-tanda skizofrenia?
Tanda-tanda atau simptom penyakit skizofrenia adalah banyak dan kompleks. Tanda-tanda penyakit ini boleh dibahagikan kepada beberapa tanda penting
Apakah tanda-tanda skizofrenia?
Tanda-tanda atau simptom penyakit skizofrenia adalah banyak dan kompleks. Tanda-tanda penyakit ini boleh dibahagikan kepada beberapa tanda penting
- Tanda-tanda positif (positive symptoms)
- Simptoms negatif (negative symptoms)
- Gangguan kognitif
- Gangguan Emosi
- Lain-lain tanda
TANDA-TANDA POSITIF
Psikosis
Psikosis
adalah simptom penting skizofrenia. Pesakit yang mendapat psikosis
boleh mengalami delusi (delusion) atau halusinasi (hallucination).
Delusi adalah kepercayaan karut yang dipercayai dengan sangat kukuh oleh
pesakit walaupun di pertikaikan atau diragui oleh orang lain.
Kepercayaan karut ini tidak sejajar dengan budaya, agama, masyarakat ,
keadaan sosial sekeliling dan ilmu pengetahuan yang ada pada pesakit.
Terdapat banyak jenis delusi. Contohnya:
Delusi paranoid (paranoid or persecutory delusion) : Mempercayai bahawa terdapat orang lain, kumpulan atau organisasi yang cuba untuk menganiaya , mencederakan, mendatangkan kemudaratan atau membunuh pesakit tersebut. Contohnya; percaya bahawa orang gaji telah memasukkan racun ke dalam makanan atau percaya bahawa majikan dan orang atas memasang perangkap untuk menjatuhkan maruah pesakit dan mengancam kedudukan jawatan pesakit .
Delusi kawalan ( delusion of control) : Mempercayai bahawa perbuatan , kemahuan dan perasaan menjadi pasif dan hanya dikawal oleh kuasa dari luar tanpa kehendak diri sendiri. Contohnya; tangan pesakit menumbuk seseorang kerana di paksa oleh kuasa lain tanpa kawalan dan kehendak dirinya sendiri, merasai makhluk telah masuk ke dalam badan dan memaksa membunuh anak
Delusi pelik (bizarre delusion): Mempercayai dengan kukuh sesuatu yang pelik. Contohnya; percaya bahawa malaikat telah datang menyerang bumi dan syaitan akan datang menyerang pula bumi setelah kematian jin.
Delusi grandiose (grandiose delusion): Mempercayai bahawa dirinya mempunyai kelebihan tersendiri yang melampaui orang lain di dunia ini. Contohnya; percaya bahawa dirinya adalah nabi yang turun untuk menyelamatkan dunia ini, percaya bahawa dirinya boleh berkomunikasi dengan tuhan, percaya bahawa dirinya boleh mencipta kenderaan untuk sampai ke bulan dengan sekelip mata, percaya bahawa dirinya raja memerintah dan banyak lagi.
Delusi nihilistik (nihilistic delusion): Mempercayai bahawa diri sendiri atau sebahagian daripada tubuh badan sudah tidak wujud lagi atau mempercayai bahawa dunia sudah tidak wujud lagi. Contohnya percaya bahawa darah tidak mengalir lagi dalam tubuhnya.
Delusi merujuk (delusion of reference); Mempercayai bahawa orang lain di sekeliling bercakap mengenai dirinya. Contonya; percaya bahawa jiran bersembang mengenai dirinya, percaya bahawa televisyen menyiarkan cerita mengenainya.
Terdapat banyak lagi contoh –contoh delusi dan perlu diingat, kepercayaan yang ada pada pesakit itu hanyalah kepercayaan karut yang tidak sebenarnya berlaku tetapi kepercayaan ini sangat kukuh dipercayai oleh pesakit walaupun beliau cuba di cabar.
Deria yang normal memerlukan stimulus yang dikesan oleh organ deria dan diinterpretasi oleh otak. Halusinasi berlaku apabila tiada stimulus dikesan oleh organ deria tetapi otak menginterpretasi sehinggakan stimulus dirasa seperti wujud oleh pesakit. Contohnya;
Halusinasi pendengaran (auditory hallucination); pesakit mendengar suara-suara atau bunyi walaupun orang lain tidak dapat mendengar.
Second person auditory hallucination berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar suara ghaib yang bercakap dengan mereka dan biasanya menyuruh pesakit melkukan sesuatu. Contohnya; pesakit dengar “ awak bunuh sahaja budak itu kerana ia dajal’, “awak bodoh”.
Third person auditory hallucination berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar banyak suara yang bersembang di antara mereka mengenai pesakit. Contohnya; pesakit dengar jin bercakap dengan hantu “ dia itu (pesakit) memang tidak berguna langsung”.
Running commentary berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar suara yang terus mengkritik setiap perbuatanya, contohnya; “ dia sedang makan , dia bangun darin kerusi , terus lari”
Thought echo berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar otaknya sendiri bercakap dengan kuat apabila berfikir.
Delusi paranoid (paranoid or persecutory delusion) : Mempercayai bahawa terdapat orang lain, kumpulan atau organisasi yang cuba untuk menganiaya , mencederakan, mendatangkan kemudaratan atau membunuh pesakit tersebut. Contohnya; percaya bahawa orang gaji telah memasukkan racun ke dalam makanan atau percaya bahawa majikan dan orang atas memasang perangkap untuk menjatuhkan maruah pesakit dan mengancam kedudukan jawatan pesakit .
Delusi kawalan ( delusion of control) : Mempercayai bahawa perbuatan , kemahuan dan perasaan menjadi pasif dan hanya dikawal oleh kuasa dari luar tanpa kehendak diri sendiri. Contohnya; tangan pesakit menumbuk seseorang kerana di paksa oleh kuasa lain tanpa kawalan dan kehendak dirinya sendiri, merasai makhluk telah masuk ke dalam badan dan memaksa membunuh anak
Delusi pelik (bizarre delusion): Mempercayai dengan kukuh sesuatu yang pelik. Contohnya; percaya bahawa malaikat telah datang menyerang bumi dan syaitan akan datang menyerang pula bumi setelah kematian jin.
Delusi grandiose (grandiose delusion): Mempercayai bahawa dirinya mempunyai kelebihan tersendiri yang melampaui orang lain di dunia ini. Contohnya; percaya bahawa dirinya adalah nabi yang turun untuk menyelamatkan dunia ini, percaya bahawa dirinya boleh berkomunikasi dengan tuhan, percaya bahawa dirinya boleh mencipta kenderaan untuk sampai ke bulan dengan sekelip mata, percaya bahawa dirinya raja memerintah dan banyak lagi.
Delusi nihilistik (nihilistic delusion): Mempercayai bahawa diri sendiri atau sebahagian daripada tubuh badan sudah tidak wujud lagi atau mempercayai bahawa dunia sudah tidak wujud lagi. Contohnya percaya bahawa darah tidak mengalir lagi dalam tubuhnya.
Delusi merujuk (delusion of reference); Mempercayai bahawa orang lain di sekeliling bercakap mengenai dirinya. Contonya; percaya bahawa jiran bersembang mengenai dirinya, percaya bahawa televisyen menyiarkan cerita mengenainya.
Terdapat banyak lagi contoh –contoh delusi dan perlu diingat, kepercayaan yang ada pada pesakit itu hanyalah kepercayaan karut yang tidak sebenarnya berlaku tetapi kepercayaan ini sangat kukuh dipercayai oleh pesakit walaupun beliau cuba di cabar.
Deria yang normal memerlukan stimulus yang dikesan oleh organ deria dan diinterpretasi oleh otak. Halusinasi berlaku apabila tiada stimulus dikesan oleh organ deria tetapi otak menginterpretasi sehinggakan stimulus dirasa seperti wujud oleh pesakit. Contohnya;
Halusinasi pendengaran (auditory hallucination); pesakit mendengar suara-suara atau bunyi walaupun orang lain tidak dapat mendengar.
Second person auditory hallucination berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar suara ghaib yang bercakap dengan mereka dan biasanya menyuruh pesakit melkukan sesuatu. Contohnya; pesakit dengar “ awak bunuh sahaja budak itu kerana ia dajal’, “awak bodoh”.
Third person auditory hallucination berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar banyak suara yang bersembang di antara mereka mengenai pesakit. Contohnya; pesakit dengar jin bercakap dengan hantu “ dia itu (pesakit) memang tidak berguna langsung”.
Running commentary berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar suara yang terus mengkritik setiap perbuatanya, contohnya; “ dia sedang makan , dia bangun darin kerusi , terus lari”
Thought echo berlaku apabila pesakit mendengar otaknya sendiri bercakap dengan kuat apabila berfikir.
Halusinasi penglihatan ( visual hallucination )
berlaku apabila pesakit dapat melihat sesuatu dengan jelas tanpa dapat
dilihat oleh orang lain, contohnya, pesakit dapat melihat malaikat
datang menghampiri mereka. Ini perlu dibezakan dengan illusi
di mana stimulus telah dikesan oleh pesakit tetapi diinterpretasi
secara salah oleh otak, contohnya; pesakit melihat ular berlingkar
tetapi sebenarnya adalah ikatan tali.
Terdapat juga halusinasi lain seperti halusinasi somatik atau halusinasi taktil di mana pesakit merasa seperti terdapat sesuatu bergerak atau merasa kesakitan pada badan, halusinasi bau di mana pesakit dapat menghidu sesuatu tanpa orang lain dapat menghidunya dan halusinsi rasa
Pertuturan Merapu (disorganized speech)Masalah
pertuturan pesakit skizofrenia berlaku dalam banyak jenis bergantung
kepada keadaan penyakit tersebut. Kebanyakan pesakit skizofrenia boleh
bertutur secara normal dan menjawab soalan dengan baik. Mereka juga
boleh menjawab soalan tetapi jawapan yang diberi tidak berkaitan (irrelevant)
dengan soalan walaupun bahasa yang disampaikan difahami. Mereka juga
boleh menjawab soalan tetapi tidak sepatah pun bahasa yang difahami (incoherent). Di bawah diberi contoh perbualan pesakit dengan doctor untuk menggambarkan psikopatologi yang dinyatakan:
Doktor: Siapa yang beri kamu duit?
Pesakit: Ke mana-mana saya nak pergi tidak siapa peduli saya. (irrelevant speech)
Doktor: Siapa beri kamu duit?
Pesakit: Bambu telinga kejar apa lagi (incoherent speech)
Doktor: Siapa yang beri kamu duit?
Pesakit: Ke mana-mana saya nak pergi tidak siapa peduli saya. (irrelevant speech)
Doktor: Siapa beri kamu duit?
Pesakit: Bambu telinga kejar apa lagi (incoherent speech)
Pesakit
juga boleh dilihat oleh orang lain bercakap seorang diri kerana mereka
respons terhadap halusinasi suara ghaib yang didengar.
Terdapat juga sesetengah pesakit yang tidak langsung mahu bercakap sepatah jawapan pun ( mute) atau bercakap sepatah dua sahaja ( poverty of speech) dan sesetengahnya banyak pula bercakap ( pressure of speech). Ada pesakit yang mengikut sahaja apa-apa sahaja yang ditanya kepada mereka (echo lalia).
Sesetengah pesakit menjawab soalan dengan baik dan terdapat juga yang
menjerit-jerit dan meninggikan suara semasa menjawab soalan.
Tingkahlaku dan Perbuatan Pelik (Disorganized Movement)
Di antara tingkahlaku pelik yang dilakukan oleh pesakit skizofrenia adalah:
Mannerism
: Perbuatan pelik yang dilakukan oleh pesakit seolah-olah mempunyai
satu tujuan. contohnya, menepuk-nepuk tangan, bersalaman secara
tiba-tiba
Streotypy:
Perbuatan pelik berulangan yang dilakukan oleh pesakit tanpa tujuan
contohnya menggoyang-goyangkan tangan tanpa tujuan , melambai - lambai
dll.
Catatonia: (Catatonic
rigidity) mengeraskan badan dengan sengaja dan tidak membenarkan orang
lain menggerakkan badan, ( catatonic stupor) pergerakan badan yang
terlalu perlahan seolah-olah tidak berinteraksi dengan rangsangan luar,
(catatonic posture) postur badan yang pelik dan pesakit dapat bertahan
dengan lama dalam postur tersebut, ( waxy flexibilty) postur badan
pesakit yang dapat dibentuk oleh orang lain dan pesakit bertahan dengan
postur itu dalam jangkamasa yang lama.
Psychomotor Agitation: terlalu banyak pergerakan kerana keresahan jiwa dan pergerakan tidak produktif tanpa tujuan.
Echopraxia: mengikut perbuatan orang lain
TANDA-TANDA NEGATIF SKIZOFRENIA
tanda-tanda
negatif skizofrenia biasanya melibatkan fungsi dan aktiviti pesakit
terjejas. Mereka yang mempunyai tanda ini bersikap malas,tidak mahu
bercakap, tiada motivasi, tidak mahu bergerak atau membuat kerja dan
seolah-olah tidak mempunyai perasaan.:
Alogia (a-LO-jee-a) and poverty of speech: bercakap dengan sedikit , pertuturan tidak mempunyai isi dan perkara penting , dan mengambil masa yang lama menyambung perkataan dan ayat yang dipertuturkan seolah-olah pertuturan terhalang .
Flattening or blunting of affect: Terlalu kurang ekspressi muka. Mereka tidak senyum ketika gembira atau mengerutkan dahi ketika sedih. Mereka tiada hubungan emosi dengan orang yang bercakap dengannya, seolah-olah anda bercakap dengan robot.
Alogia (a-LO-jee-a) and poverty of speech: bercakap dengan sedikit , pertuturan tidak mempunyai isi dan perkara penting , dan mengambil masa yang lama menyambung perkataan dan ayat yang dipertuturkan seolah-olah pertuturan terhalang .
Flattening or blunting of affect: Terlalu kurang ekspressi muka. Mereka tidak senyum ketika gembira atau mengerutkan dahi ketika sedih. Mereka tiada hubungan emosi dengan orang yang bercakap dengannya, seolah-olah anda bercakap dengan robot.
Avolition and anhedonia: Hilang minat dan tenaga untuk melakukan perkara yang biasa mereka lakukan.
GANGGUAN EMOSI
Pesakit skizofrenia juga boleh mendapat kemurungan (RUJUK KEMURUNGAN) dan episod mania ( RUJUK BIPOLAR DISOERDER), Maka sejarah penyakit perlulah tepat untuk mendapat diagnosis yang tepat kerana rawatan yang tepat perlu diberikan.
Emosi
pesakit skizofrenia juga boleh bercelaru dan tidak sejajar dengan apa
yang mereka fikirkan ( the affect is not congruent to the thought) .
Contohnya: Fikiran pesakit penuh dengan kesedihan tetapi beliau menyanyi
kegembiraan.
Kadar bunuh diri pesakit skizofrenia
adalah tinggi (10%). Ia boleh berlaku kerana mereka mempunyai
kemurungan melampau dan psikosis yang menyuruh mereka membunuh diri.
GANGGUAN KOGNITIF
Pesakit
skizofrenia boleh mendapat gangguan kognitif yang menyebabkan mereka
mempunyai IQ yang lebih rendah. Mereka tidak dapat membuat keputusan
dengan baik, kurang penumpuan danmemori yang kurang baik
GANGGUAN LAIN
Pesakit
skizofrenia dikaitkan juga dengan tingkah laku agresif. Tetapi perlu
diingat pesakit skizofrenia bukanlah lebih merbahaya daripada orang
normal. Kadar jenayah keganasan dilakukan oleh mereka yang mengidap
ketagihan alkoho atau dadah, masalah personaliti dan mereka yang tidak
mempunyai sakit mental berbanding kadar jenayah yang dilakukan oleh
pesakit skizofrenia.
http://drsalmi.blogspot.com/2008/03/skizofrenia-schizophrenia-apakah-itu.html
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Effects of Emotional Abuse: It Hurts When I Love
Love without compassion is possessive, controlling, and dangerous.
Published on August 26, 2008 by Steven Stosny in Anger in the Age of Entitlement
The simplest definition of emotionally abusive behavior is anything that intentionally hurts the feelings of another person. Since almost everyone in intimate relationships does that at some time or other in the heat of an argument, emotionally abusive behavior must be distinguished from an emotionally abusive relationship, which is more than the sum of emotionally abusive behaviors.
In an emotionally abusive relationship, one party systematically controls the other by:
•Undermining his or her confidence, worthiness, growth, or trust
•"Gaslighting" - making him/her feel crazy or unstable
•Manipulating him/her with fear or shame.
Here are examples:
"You shouldn't spend so much on clothes, you don't look good anyway."
"Don't complain about how bad you have it, no one else could love you."
"Working and taking courses is too much for you; you can't handle what you need to do now."
"Your friends and family just want something from you."
"I have to drink to be able to stand you."
"One of these days you'll wake up, and I'll be gone."
"You don't know the first thing about raising kids."
It's important to note that most emotional abuse is not as direct and verbal as these examples. All the above can be implied with sarcasm, irony, or mumblings and can be communicated with body language, rolling eyes, sighs, grimaces, tone of voice, disgusted looks, cold shoulders, slamming doors, banging dishes, stonewalling, cold shoulders, etc. There are a myriad of ways to be emotionally abusive.
Gender Distinctions
In more than 20 years of working with abusive relationships, I have noticed a consistent gender distinction in the kind of abuse perpetrated. An emotionally abusive man controls his partner by manipulating her fear of harm, isolation, and deprivation; he threatens or implies that he might hurt her, leave her, or keep her apart from the things she loves. An emotionally abusive woman controls her partner by manipulating his dread of failure as a provider, protector, lover, or parent: "I could have married a man who made more money, I had more orgasms with my last boyfriend, you're not a real man, and you don't know the first thing about raising kids."
This difference in vulnerability to fear and shame is why the gender symmetry present in emotionally abusive behaviors vanishes in emotionally abusive relationships. In other words, women engage in as much emotionally abusive behavior as men, but the systematic use of emotional abuse to control another person is usually the domain of men, simply because it is easier to control someone with fear than shame.
A typical defense against shame is to tune out the person provoking it. Although we never forget humiliation, it is relatively easy not to think about things that cause shame. (The root of the word, "shame" means to cover or hide. That's one reason we tend to make the same mistakes over and over, by the way.) The cliché of the numb husband ignoring the nagging or strident wife isn't far from the truth. The abuse, though inexcusable, is not as painful for him. He is more likely to describe himself as adaptively following the path of least resistance than as a victim living under the thumb of someone more powerful. In my experience, emotionally abused men do not live in fear, even though they are ill-treated and far from happy.
In contrast, fear is an alarm system whose threshold of activation is designed to adapt to a dangerous environment. In other words, the more you experience fear, the more sensitized to possible danger you become. (That's why you might be unnerved by a moving shadow after seeing a horror movie.) The usual reaction to fear is hypervigilence. Thus women notice more of what the abusive partner is doing and are more likely to have their thoughts, feelings, and behavior controlled by the abusive partner. Indeed, it is almost impossible not to think about things that make you afraid when they are in proximity - just try to ignore the sleeping saber tooth tiger in the next room.
Effects
In many ways, emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. There are a couple of reasons for this. Even in the most violent families, the incidents tend to be cyclical.
Early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst is followed by a honeymoon period of remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion. (The honeymoon stage eventually ends, as the victim begins to say, "Never mind the damn flowers, just stop hitting me!") Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day. The effects are more harmful because they're so frequent.
The other factor that makes emotional abuse so devastating is the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think it's your problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.
If you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, take the Walking on Eggshells quiz. If your score indicates that you are walking on eggshells, the test will lead you to information on what to do about it.
Published on August 26, 2008 by Steven Stosny in Anger in the Age of Entitlement
The simplest definition of emotionally abusive behavior is anything that intentionally hurts the feelings of another person. Since almost everyone in intimate relationships does that at some time or other in the heat of an argument, emotionally abusive behavior must be distinguished from an emotionally abusive relationship, which is more than the sum of emotionally abusive behaviors.
In an emotionally abusive relationship, one party systematically controls the other by:
•Undermining his or her confidence, worthiness, growth, or trust
•"Gaslighting" - making him/her feel crazy or unstable
•Manipulating him/her with fear or shame.
Here are examples:
"You shouldn't spend so much on clothes, you don't look good anyway."
"Don't complain about how bad you have it, no one else could love you."
"Working and taking courses is too much for you; you can't handle what you need to do now."
"Your friends and family just want something from you."
"I have to drink to be able to stand you."
"One of these days you'll wake up, and I'll be gone."
"You don't know the first thing about raising kids."
It's important to note that most emotional abuse is not as direct and verbal as these examples. All the above can be implied with sarcasm, irony, or mumblings and can be communicated with body language, rolling eyes, sighs, grimaces, tone of voice, disgusted looks, cold shoulders, slamming doors, banging dishes, stonewalling, cold shoulders, etc. There are a myriad of ways to be emotionally abusive.
Gender Distinctions
In more than 20 years of working with abusive relationships, I have noticed a consistent gender distinction in the kind of abuse perpetrated. An emotionally abusive man controls his partner by manipulating her fear of harm, isolation, and deprivation; he threatens or implies that he might hurt her, leave her, or keep her apart from the things she loves. An emotionally abusive woman controls her partner by manipulating his dread of failure as a provider, protector, lover, or parent: "I could have married a man who made more money, I had more orgasms with my last boyfriend, you're not a real man, and you don't know the first thing about raising kids."
This difference in vulnerability to fear and shame is why the gender symmetry present in emotionally abusive behaviors vanishes in emotionally abusive relationships. In other words, women engage in as much emotionally abusive behavior as men, but the systematic use of emotional abuse to control another person is usually the domain of men, simply because it is easier to control someone with fear than shame.
A typical defense against shame is to tune out the person provoking it. Although we never forget humiliation, it is relatively easy not to think about things that cause shame. (The root of the word, "shame" means to cover or hide. That's one reason we tend to make the same mistakes over and over, by the way.) The cliché of the numb husband ignoring the nagging or strident wife isn't far from the truth. The abuse, though inexcusable, is not as painful for him. He is more likely to describe himself as adaptively following the path of least resistance than as a victim living under the thumb of someone more powerful. In my experience, emotionally abused men do not live in fear, even though they are ill-treated and far from happy.
In contrast, fear is an alarm system whose threshold of activation is designed to adapt to a dangerous environment. In other words, the more you experience fear, the more sensitized to possible danger you become. (That's why you might be unnerved by a moving shadow after seeing a horror movie.) The usual reaction to fear is hypervigilence. Thus women notice more of what the abusive partner is doing and are more likely to have their thoughts, feelings, and behavior controlled by the abusive partner. Indeed, it is almost impossible not to think about things that make you afraid when they are in proximity - just try to ignore the sleeping saber tooth tiger in the next room.
Effects
In many ways, emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. There are a couple of reasons for this. Even in the most violent families, the incidents tend to be cyclical.
Early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst is followed by a honeymoon period of remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion. (The honeymoon stage eventually ends, as the victim begins to say, "Never mind the damn flowers, just stop hitting me!") Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day. The effects are more harmful because they're so frequent.
The other factor that makes emotional abuse so devastating is the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves. If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think it's your problem. Emotional abuse seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.
If you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, take the Walking on Eggshells quiz. If your score indicates that you are walking on eggshells, the test will lead you to information on what to do about it.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Menangani Kemarahan
Video ini di ambil dari:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOLWthlIbBI
dari Laman Web Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Bagaimana untuk membina AntiStres
Stress adalah perasaan tertekan. Kenapa Anda tertekan?
Sebab Anda tidak dapat apa yang Anda mahu. Sebab lain, sesuatu yang Anda tidak pinta, tidak mahu dan tidak ingin telah terjadi ke atas Anda kemudian terasa susah untuk keluar darinya, misalnya masalah.
Bagaimana untuk membina anti stress.
Bila difikirkan anti stress, Anda akan dapat lebih banyak stress. Semakin banyak memikirkan tentang ubat, semakin banyak timbul penyakit. Sebab? Sesuatu akan menarik sesuatu yang lain yang serupa dengannya. Fikir stress, Anda akan dapat lebih banyak stress. Begitu juga dengan berfikir mengenai anti stress, sebab Anda berada dalam keadaan memerangi stress. Anda lawan stress. Kesannya Anda akan dapat lebih banyak stress sebab di fikiran Anda wujud stress, bukan ketenangan.
Lupakan pasal anti stress. Sebaliknya binalah ketenangan dan nikmati ketenangan itu.
Dengarlah lagu-lagu yang mendamaikan jiwa, yang tenang dan yang menghiburkan. Elak dengar lagu bernada sedih, kecewa, putus asa atau hampa. Anda akan merasa sedih, kecewa, putus asa dan hampa juga serupa dengan apa yang Anda dengari. Perkataan-perkatan berisi emosi hampa akan membangkitkan emosi hampa di hati Anda, sebab itulah Anda hampa.
Pergilah berjalan-jalan di taman, di pantai atau ke mana saja yang Anda rasa Anda boleh beroleh ketenangan. Ketika disitu, fokuslah untuk merasai ketenangan. Lupakan habis pasal stress. Tujuan utama Anda adalah untuk mencari ketenangan, rasainya, simpan lalu nikmati supaya Anda mendapat kekuatan.
Ketika Anda sedang berada dalam situasi yang penuh stress, sibuk dan penuh kelam-kabut, caranya tenangkan diri. Bila sudah tenang, tenangkan lagi diri Anda, lebih tenang dari yang tadi. Inilah cara yang bagus digunakan untuk mengharungi situasi penuh stress.
Bila Anda merasa tertekan atau sedang stress memikirkan sesuatu tapi Anda susah nak lupa, fokus pada PENYELESAIAN. Sebagai contoh, jika Anda stress sebab tidak ada duit, fikir cemana nak selesaikannya. Jika Anda tidak bersemangat, fikir cemana nak selesaikannya. Fikir cemana nak jadi bersemangat.
Memfokus fikiran pada penyelesaian akan membuat Anda bersemangat sedikit sebab Anda nampak jalan keluar dari stress yang Anda alami. Anda akan rasa sedikit lega. Ada harapan untuk menyelesaikan kerumitan yang Anda alami.
Sumber di ambil dari:
http://www.imotivasi.net/
Sebab Anda tidak dapat apa yang Anda mahu. Sebab lain, sesuatu yang Anda tidak pinta, tidak mahu dan tidak ingin telah terjadi ke atas Anda kemudian terasa susah untuk keluar darinya, misalnya masalah.
Bagaimana untuk membina anti stress.
Bila difikirkan anti stress, Anda akan dapat lebih banyak stress. Semakin banyak memikirkan tentang ubat, semakin banyak timbul penyakit. Sebab? Sesuatu akan menarik sesuatu yang lain yang serupa dengannya. Fikir stress, Anda akan dapat lebih banyak stress. Begitu juga dengan berfikir mengenai anti stress, sebab Anda berada dalam keadaan memerangi stress. Anda lawan stress. Kesannya Anda akan dapat lebih banyak stress sebab di fikiran Anda wujud stress, bukan ketenangan.
Lupakan pasal anti stress. Sebaliknya binalah ketenangan dan nikmati ketenangan itu.
Dengarlah lagu-lagu yang mendamaikan jiwa, yang tenang dan yang menghiburkan. Elak dengar lagu bernada sedih, kecewa, putus asa atau hampa. Anda akan merasa sedih, kecewa, putus asa dan hampa juga serupa dengan apa yang Anda dengari. Perkataan-perkatan berisi emosi hampa akan membangkitkan emosi hampa di hati Anda, sebab itulah Anda hampa.
Pergilah berjalan-jalan di taman, di pantai atau ke mana saja yang Anda rasa Anda boleh beroleh ketenangan. Ketika disitu, fokuslah untuk merasai ketenangan. Lupakan habis pasal stress. Tujuan utama Anda adalah untuk mencari ketenangan, rasainya, simpan lalu nikmati supaya Anda mendapat kekuatan.
Ketika Anda sedang berada dalam situasi yang penuh stress, sibuk dan penuh kelam-kabut, caranya tenangkan diri. Bila sudah tenang, tenangkan lagi diri Anda, lebih tenang dari yang tadi. Inilah cara yang bagus digunakan untuk mengharungi situasi penuh stress.
Bila Anda merasa tertekan atau sedang stress memikirkan sesuatu tapi Anda susah nak lupa, fokus pada PENYELESAIAN. Sebagai contoh, jika Anda stress sebab tidak ada duit, fikir cemana nak selesaikannya. Jika Anda tidak bersemangat, fikir cemana nak selesaikannya. Fikir cemana nak jadi bersemangat.
Memfokus fikiran pada penyelesaian akan membuat Anda bersemangat sedikit sebab Anda nampak jalan keluar dari stress yang Anda alami. Anda akan rasa sedikit lega. Ada harapan untuk menyelesaikan kerumitan yang Anda alami.
Sumber di ambil dari:
http://www.imotivasi.net/
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Selamat Tahun Baru 2012
Selamat Tahun Baru 2012 kepada semua pembaca blog kami dengan harapan abiskita terus menjaga kesihatan mental diri sendiri dan orang tersayang.
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